getting past words: What About Me?

I was born and raised in the heart of the James Taylor Carolinas, and that is my current location.

But I haven't lived here forever.

After college, I packed my car and moved to SoCal to be a post-college, 21-year-old-adolescent, idealistic, pompous, politically-and-economically-ignorant, irresponsible lesbian camp hippie. #whitegirlproblems

...Who played pranks on the camp director much like the characters in Salute Your Shorts. And also occasionally fell down. SQUIRREL! MILK CARTONS! ENERGY LEGS!

And for those of you who scoff, I can attest to the fact that ADHD never really goes away. I've been trying to finish this About me section for like, three years.

Then after a while I decided to grow up, and I decided that would require minimum distraction. It takes effort to act my age - let's be honest, I'm still about 12 at heart. So I moved to Fargo, went to grad school, bought a house and got a puppy.

Ok, a couple of puppies. This is actually the second one. You can see the first one here.

(BUT OMG THE ADORABLE SLEEPING PUPPY WHO SUBSEQUENTLY BECAME THE ADORABLE SLEEPING GIANT GERMAN SHEPHERD WHO TAKES TONS OF PROZAC FOR EXTREME ANXIETY AND ALSO TAKES UP HALF OF MY BED!!! IT'S LIKE MAGIC.)

... and then it all became too much and it was all wrong and I yelled "I WANT MY MOMMY" and limped back home.

Let me explain how this happened. My professional background (and my BA) is in experimental clinical Psychology. I ditched a PhD program in 2009, one class short of a Masters, because a) I wanted neuroimaging technology for my dissertation (specifically, I wanted to use fMRI to look at how meditating affects attention), b) I lived in Fargo, c) who needs an MS, anyway? I want out NOW (facepalm), d) I was a 24-year old brat (see c)), and e) my house was in Fargo. BUT IT'S FREEZING AND WHY WOULD YOU LIVE THERE?

If there's a reset button on life, I pressed it.

Note to everyone: that is a very expensive button.

At 24, I felt like I had been defeated and that all my dreams were lost.

THREE YEARS, POOF. GONE. What?! Where?! Who??!

I took a hiatus from my "big life plan" that included a variety of very odd jobs (e.g., sushi chef). Read: The economy was terrible and I was not focused, so it took me a year to get a job once I started trying. Since then, I've been working my way up the food chain as a research administrator. First, I worked as a temp in PET imaging, then full-time in Psychiatry, and now in Neurobiology and Anatomy, using fMRI - to look at functional brain changes following mindfulness training.

Can you see where I'm going with this? I might actually get to finish that PhD doing exactly what I wanted to do in the first place. And it's not like I planned this exactly, I just take every opportunity I see to steer my life where I want to take it. Trust me, people, you may have to shovel dog poop for six months (oh yes, I did that too), but it works.

Sometimes understanding another person requires that you work for it. Sometimes it is difficult.

My break from everything I ever thought I wanted included all kinds of strange misadventures. Let's not go into that.

But I have also learned - slowly, painfully, at my all-too-characteristic molasses pace, by repeated trial and error that almost killed me at times - that falling in love doesn't have to be a disaster. It can be amazing.

Like the rest of life, you just have to approach it with honesty, curiosity, and respect.

But it's worth it. She definitely is.

I've been deeply involved with animal rescue over the last five years, and I have some crazy stories, but I'm currently taking a break from that to focus on other parts of my life.

One of the things I'm working on is a long, drawn out remodeling project. Over the last 8 years I've built a pretty amazing apartment in my basement (there's a post about that somewhere), and it desperately needs finishing.