Ah, Death in the News

1) Only an actor would murder his mother with a sword. But...

Dude, really... a sword?  That's just hardcore. 

2) Manchester police have charged a man with manslaughter for a "failed prank" that is pretty obviously murder.

How do you not know the difference between an air rifle and a .22?

Yes... I read a lot of CNN at work.

Netflix raises prices, offers streaming-only option

Netflix raises prices, offers streaming-only option

Think this offers some hope for the dying business of in-store movie rental, or not?

Politically...

My Political Views
I am a centrist social libertarian
Left: 0.04, Libertarian: 5.75

Political Spectrum Quiz

Top Ten Excuses to Hoard Useless Items in the Attic

1. This is an antique.
   So sell it to Antiques Roadshow or something. Please.
2. This is a collector's item. It will be worth money someday.
   Maybe. But be realistic... probably not.
3. This will fit me again someday.
   No it won't. And if it does... it will be so far out of style that everyone will know you went through a LONG chubby period.
4. I will find a use for this random length of rope or piece of upholstery, but for now I will stick it in a box.
   You will forget about this item and you will never use it. Just give it up.
5. This is a hobby I should take up someday.
   If you have enough money to retire and actually develop hobbies that you would need to put off for now... you can buy it later.
6. I am keeping this for my children.
   Seriously, any more than ONE BOX of knickknacky shit and your children will NOT be grateful. They will be angry. Really angry.
7. When my appliance/winter coat/board game wears out and is no longer functional, I will replace it with this other one that I can put away for now.
   Ok... no. When you leave something in your attic for that long, not only does it lose quality, but you forget about it. Most likely, you will just buy a new one and then come across the other one someday much later... and throw it out because a bat made a nest in it and had baby bats.
8. I am keeping this because it belonged to my dead relative.
   Let's be honest. That's a little creepy.
9. This has sentimental value because [insert random person's name] gave it to me.
   Just call them instead. Unless they're dead... in which case, see (8).
10. I am saving this for the zombie apocalypse.
    REALLY? And you don't have a bomb shelter? SHAME ON YOU.

Christmas Carols are Amazing

1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer 

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games


Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"


Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
you'll go down in history!

Like every other social outcast, Rudolph learns an important lesson: The other children will love you only when you become useful to them.  But remember... you're still a freak.

2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list
and checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping, 
he knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness' sake

Santa Claus is a creepy stalker.  He will punish you for your sins.  Be very afraid.

3. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus 

Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

Wow, Mommy is an adulterer and Santa is a womanizer! LOL!

4. Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the snowman, knew the sun was hot that day
so he said, "let's run, and we'll have some fun,
before I melt away."

I'm about to die a horrendously gory and painful death! So uh... let's play tag!

5.  The Twelve Days of Christmas

On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me:
9 Ladies Dancing
8 Maids a milking
7 Swans a swimming
6 Geese a laying
5 Golden Rings
4 Calling Birds
3 French Hens
2 Turtle Doves
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

True love is... jewelry, women, and a metric ton of poultry.

Teach your children core values!  Sing Christmas Carols every year!